All Scottish Teachers

Primary Humour

*A young girl was waiting to get her shoelaces tied after PE. The teacher always asked the children to rest their foot on the spar of the chair to save straining his back.
When the girl put one foot on the chair the teacher remarked:
"That shoe's on the wrong foot."
She put that foot on the floor and replaced it with the other foot.
The teacher didn't say anything this time, but when she realised that "Sir" wasn't going to tie it she looked up, looked at the shoe, looked back at her teacher and then finally asked:
"Is that yin oan the Wrang fit tae?"


* After spending weeks studying Islam with a P6 class, the teacher decided to have a quiz. She asked what languge the Qu'ran was written in, and one of the boys answered "braille"!

** A French assistante visited the same P6 class and spent the morning doing French with them.
At the end of the session she asked if anybody had
any questions, and one of the boys asked:

"Have you ever been to France?"


** same class!!

One of the P6 boys was writing a story about his pet dog who had to be taken to the vet as he ate something and was "electric"!

He meant to say allergic.



* A teacher& her P1 class were planting bulbs for the local authority
spring bulb competition. Being up to her neck in compost, while the
children shouted out advice, she inadvertantly wiped her dirty hands on her top ...one little wag shouted out:

"Please Miss when you bend doon tae wipe aff the dirt ah kin see yer lungs"


* A teacher was listening to a Primary 5 reading group working on the Wellington Square series.
One child read out that the children met at the statue of the Duck of Wellington!

* A primary 7 pupil was nearing the end of their primary education and was
asked to write a story about their childhood.
The story was duly written and concluded with the words:

"Well I have enjoyed my childhood & I'm now looking forward to adultery!"


* It was a very hot day and I was listening to the reading group while
fanning myself with the book. One little girl asked if I was hot.

"Yes." I replied.

She then asked if I'd had a drink at lunch time.

"Of course not!" I replied, "What makes you ask that?"

"Oh its just that my mum gets a bit flushed after a drink and I thought maybe you had a few!!"


* A National Development Officer was visiting primary schools in the Borders to review their Primary French programme. A wee boy tugged his shirt to ask "Mister, where are you from?" The NDO replied "Glasgow", the boy thought for a moment, then said "do they speak French there?"



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