All Scottish Teachers

Teacher howlers

** Graffiti was found written large on several walls in the school corridors with the same comment:
Mr (name of Headie) is a ba****d!

Said Headie was quietly chuffed, reportedly saying:
"See that "Mr" - that's respect!"



** Nervous new teacher turned to write on the board and unfortunately
farted loudly. Thinking on his feet, he whipped round and barked:
"Who did that?"
Little girl in the front seat pointed frantically over her shoulder
stammering: "It w-w-was him!"

Problem solved!



* A teacher could not understand why her class kept on laughing during her
handwriting lesson, until a colleague pointed out that she was saying:

"Now, boys and girls,watch the blackboard carefully while I do a P on it!"

* A colleague caused hilarity in the staffroom while preparing for a craft
lesson by asking:

"'Does anybody know where I can get felt?"

* A PE teacher was struggling a bit as he tried to inculcate
the finer points of a Scottish Country dance to a class of cumbersome
fifth years.

In exasperation, he sternly admonished them:

"For goodness sake, change partners after the clap!


* Picture the scene - a fresh young 21 year old science teacher with first
(as then ) O Grade set in Chemistry.

Sir out to impress as girls go frantic when wasp enters lab.

No problem! - as wasp lands on window, cool sir picks up a text book (I
remember it well "Organic Chemistry"-hardback 1000+ pages), splatters
wasp through window - literally as wasp, book and window glass all exit
in a loud "CRASH"

Stunned silence as kids not sure how to take this. Teachers aren't
supposed to break windows!

One VERY red-faced teacher splutters - "You boy, go fetch the jannie,
someone has thrown something through the window!"

The kids were gems though, to this day they haven't let on - and that was
25 years ago!

ALL NAMES AND ADDRESSES USED ON THE SITE HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INDIVIDUALS AND NO RESPONSIBILITY IS TAKEN FOR ANY COINCIDENTAL SIMILARITIES WHICH MAY OCCUR.




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