* A Cockney lady teaching maths in a challenging inner city school
had occasion to chastise one of her female pupils. The girl ran out of
the classroom and went home to tell her mother what had happened.
Very soon afterwards the girl and her mother demanded to speak to the
headmaster. "What's the problem?" he asked.
The mother said to the girl, "Tell him what Mrs.X called you".
The girl then told the headmaster, "She called me a fu**in' lyin' doormat!".
Shocked, the headmaster summoned the teacher to his office. "What, exactly, did you say to that girl this morning?" Mrs.X replied,
"I just told her her faculties were lying dormant"!
* Two teachers were having a decent conversation during golden time.
Child X kept passing unwelcome comments at intervals which annoyed the pair.
P: "Stop that you goat!"
Teacher: "P, Why did you say that?"
P: " 'cause you can't have a conversation with a goat around. It keeps
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