* The following were given as excuses back in the 60s:
"My daughter can't come to school as she has the dire rear."
"My daughter has had a bad knight in bed, and has something wrong in
* The following was handed to a teacher by a child returning after an absence:
Please can you fill in the sick note for my child
My daughter was not at school on.............
This was because (please ask my daughter and delete as appropriate)
a) she had a sore throat
b) she was sick
c) she had diarrhoea
d) she had toothache
e) she went to the doctors
f) other reason
* Parent: 'do you teach driving?'
Teacher: 'No, I don't.'
Parent: 'Well what's all this about 'motor skills' then?'
ALL NAMES AND ADDRESSES USED ON THE SITE HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INDIVIDUALS AND NO RESPONSIBILITY IS TAKEN FOR ANY COINCIDENTAL SIMILARITIES WHICH MAY OCCUR.