** A P2 pupil was being given a lecture by a AHT on his attitude.
When the AHT was finished she prompted the child to say "thank you" by saying it herself.
The pupil's earnest reply was: "you're welcome!"
She was not impressed and referred the matter to the Head!
* A Primary class were discussing the terms for male and female animals when one pupil came up with a bitch for a female dog.
Another pupil said " I know the name for a male dog!
It's a bastard!"
* A lively P1/2 teacher was doing her daily spelling lesson with the class.
'The next word we're going to spell is was - W...A....S
Does anyone know a sentence for was?'
A wee lad at the back punches the air,
'Aye miss, ah've got ain! Ma mither painted the was sh*t broon!'
* P2 child gives his news to the class:
"My dad came home from jail last night and caught my mam in bed with the lodger."
* The end of the day had arrived and the children were sitting quietly,
a time where we should have nothing in our hands to distract us!
I asked a wee boy 3 times to put away what he was holding and eventually in my bestest teacher voice I cried 'Give it to me' and sadly he did!!!!
Yes, you guessed a lump of S***, or malteser as they are commonly
known..........but,, on investigation there were no signs that he had a
Together we went to the loo to check and he showed me just were he
picked this prize up.......THE FLOOR,, IT BELONGED TO SOMEONE ELSE.
ALL NAMES AND ADDRESSES USED ON THE SITE HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INDIVIDUALS AND NO RESPONSIBILITY IS TAKEN FOR ANY COINCIDENTAL SIMILARITIES WHICH MAY OCCUR.