All Scottish Teachers

Primary Humour

** A P2 pupil was being given a lecture by a AHT on his attitude.
When the AHT was finished she prompted the child to say "thank you" by saying it herself.

The pupil's earnest reply was: "you're welcome!"

She was not impressed and referred the matter to the Head!




* A Primary class were discussing the terms for male and female animals when one pupil came up with a bitch for a female dog.
Another pupil said " I know the name for a male dog!
It's a bastard!"


* A lively P1/2 teacher was doing her daily spelling lesson with the class.
'The next word we're going to spell is was - W...A....S
Does anyone know a sentence for was?'

A wee lad at the back punches the air,

'Aye miss, ah've got ain! Ma mither painted the was sh*t broon!'

* P2 child gives his news to the class:
"My dad came home from jail last night and caught my mam in bed with the lodger."

* The end of the day had arrived and the children were sitting quietly,
a time where we should have nothing in our hands to distract us!
I asked a wee boy 3 times to put away what he was holding and eventually in my bestest teacher voice I cried 'Give it to me' and sadly he did!!!!
Yes, you guessed a lump of S***, or malteser as they are commonly
known..........but,, on investigation there were no signs that he had a
little accident.
Together we went to the loo to check and he showed me just were he
picked this prize up.......THE FLOOR,, IT BELONGED TO SOMEONE ELSE.


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