All Scottish Teachers

Never work with children!

*** The nursery were putting on the nativity play and the doll used at
rehearsal could not be found so a substitute was used.
At the crucial moment the little girl playing Mary shouted:

" STOP !!, this is the wrong baby!"



** Santa had gone to the local primary school and had told the
pupils that Rudolph's nose was red as he had a cold.

He asked the children if they had any ideas as to what would help him get rid of it.
Various suggestions were made such as throat sweets etc.

Then a boy suggested the pub.

"Why the pub?" asked Santa

"I don't know, but when my dad gets a cold he always goes to the pub!"



** GOOD FOR A LAUGH!!

It was the week before Christmas and the teacher asked her class (9 year
olds) to bring in something to do with the festive season.
Next day the kids gave her:

Cards,
Tinsel,
Baubles,
Picture of the Nativity
Piece of Xmas tree,
etc,etc.

She was delighted and congratulated them on their efforts.
Just then Wee Jimmy handed her a pair of knickers.

She stuttered: "WWWhat have these to do with Christmas?"

Wee Jimmy replied: "They're Carol's!"



** A couple of years ago, a Primary 4 class were doing the Nativity for their school. There were auditions for the part of Joseph, and one wee lad wasn't too happy he only got the Innkeeper's job.

It was a big affair with all the local bigwigs and the press in to report
on it.

When Mary and Joseph arrived at the Inn, and Jospeh asked about a room,
instead of saying "No sorry but you can have the barn" as was scripted,
he said:

"Nae bother, in ye com pal, loadsa room here. All major credit cards
accepted. Bed and breakfast."

The HT was turning bright red, thinking "Oh no." But the audience loved it
.. even though the children didn't know what was going on!



* Revenge!!

A budding young actor was very put out when he wasn't picked to be Joseph in his school play. However he was asked to be Innkeeper No. 1 in an effort to keep him quiet, or so his teacher thought!

When Mary & Joseph approached him to ask if there was any room at the inn, he replied:

" Yes, come right in! We have a lovely room overlooking the pool!"


* An infant teacher was putting on the annual Nativity with her
class and unfortunately poor Virgin Mary went off sick on the day of the
performance. Another child offered immediately to take her place.

She went on stage and looked down at baby Jesus in the manger.

This aspiring young actress then ad libbed in a real north east accent:

" Ken 'is, he's richt lik' ees dad!"



ALL NAMES AND ADDRESSES USED ON THE SITE HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INDIVIDUALS AND NO RESPONSIBILITY IS TAKEN FOR ANY COINCIDENTAL SIMILARITIES WHICH MAY OCCUR.





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