All Scottish Teachers

Crazy Absence notes/Parent howlers

**A teacher received an absence note which read:
" Chloe has been off for the last 3 days because she had a 24 hour bug!"


* An older sibling wrote this note and the teacher started laughing his head off when he read it:

" Dear Mr T. - thanks for letting S. dog school yesterday and attached find the two smokes I owe you from a few years ago!
cheers
W."

* " Dear Sir, please excuse J for being absent as he was sick & vomited up the High Street"

* Dear Miss, Fred couldn't do his punishment exercise as his sister & I treated him to a McDonalds!"

* A teacher was trying, with limited success, to elicit the answers to
his questions from one girl in particular, and he passed comment on the
pupil's lack of effort within the classroom.

The following day he was called to the Headteacher's office, to answer
the allegation (from the girl's irate parents) that he had "called
their daughter a f****** doormat"

The teacher was understandably confused, and could not recall making
such a remark. On reflection however, he remembered that his actual
words were "he had thought the girl's faculties were dormant!!!"



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