All Scottish Teachers

Teacher Humour/Howlers

* USA:

Spring, 2005. The students of Mrs. Teacher's Chemistry class are taking a chemistry chapter test, when a student raises his hand.

Mrs. Teacher- "Yes Mr. Student, You have a question?"

Student- "Yes, Could you come show me how to work this problem...?"

Mrs. Teacher- *laughs* "I'm sorry Mr. Student, but that would be cheating."

Student- "Well I am working my problem the same way as her," Student points to the girl sitting next to him," But I keep getting a different answer."

Mrs. Teacher- "huh. . .*sigh*." Walks to the student's desk, pulls out a red marker, and draws a large zero on the student's paper.

Student- "Hey! What's that for?"

Mrs. Teacher- "You were cheating Mr. Student, and it just got you that zero."

Student- "I was not cheating!"

Mrs. Teacher- "You just said that you were looking off her paper. That's cheating."

Student- "How was that cheating, I was only checking my work." Student looks genuinely confused at Mrs. Teacher.


* USA: As related by a former student:

I had a fantastic college teacher who had a very dry sense of humor. He
was a brilliant man. His favorite trick to pull on new students was to
let them ask a question in the normal manner, e.g. "Can you work
problem #7?" His typical response was always, "Of course I can, I can
work any problem in the book...(long pause as he would turn to the
blackboard and then turn back around)...

oh...did you WANT me to work that problem for you?" This always resulted in laughter from the more experienced students. Well, as a student, I had heard that response many times because of my classmates. During the very last day of class that I would ever have taught by this wonderful man, I decided it was time to give him a little of his own medicine. Five minutes before class ended, I bravely raised my hand and asked with trepidation..."Can you work #17?"
Of course, I received the expected response.
I, however did not respond as usual. When asked if I wanted him to work it, i merely responded, "No, I was just curious if you could."

Well, needless to say, this left him quite dumbfounded for the moment,
and the entire class burst out in laughter. I had won...or so I
thought. As the class ended, he proudly strode out of the
auditorium...paused as he passed me...and stated,

"Just remember...there's still the final exam."

I learned a valuable lesson that day...don't try to outdo your teacher
when it comes to humor...that final was a doozie! Fortunately, I aced
it because he was such a good teacher.


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