All Scottish Teachers

Teacher howlers

** All the staff were seated quietly sipping coffee in the Main Staff Room and they could not help hearing the conversation that an AHT was having with
the Depute Rector.

The AHT was discussing a recalcitrant male adolescent whom he had sent to the main office for punishment and was desirous of an instant
resolution of the problem.

Now the Depute Head must have asked what the wishes of the AHT were and all they heard over the gentle conversations was the AHT's voice rising
to a crescendo:

"Whit dae ah want ye tae dae wi' him?"

"BELT THE C***!!"




** A "high -faluting" teacher was forced to take a social education class of tough third year pupils.
He had a greatly exaggerated idea of his ability to handle pupils and his classes were bedlam.
He was showing a video on some subject and had to get one of
the pupils to put it on. When it finished early he had no idea what to
talk about, so endeavoured to get the pupils involved in something for the
short time remaining.
One of them volunteered to show an interesting video that belonged to his uncle. This boy was a real wag.
He put the video on and it was a blue movie!
The teacher was frantic but didn't know how to put it off. So it was running for some time before he managed to get one of the pupils to put it off.
He approached a colleague about what to do, and was advised to report it to the SMT. It was lucky that he did because some parents phoned in complaining.
He was never given another Social Education class to take!



* A pupil had a very prominent nose and was frequently teased about its length.
On one occasion the teacher heard the dreaded nickname 'Concorde' being whispered. In her loudest voice she said, "Stop that immediately! I will not have insults like that flying around in my classroom!"
The result was class hysteria and tears of laughter streaming down her face but she never heard that name again!


* Second year at secondary school, all boy class, new teacher.

It was 9.00am, the kids were all in the class, some 36 of them. The door opened and in walked a male teacher none of them had ever seen before. As was practice in those days (1965) all stood up.
Over the floor he went, case in hand, no obvious looking at class but obviously he was aware of their reputation.
Good morning, my name is "Mr Allan by the way".
Bad start, as back came the reply: "Good morning Mr Allan by the way"
Needless to say it stuck!
Every time he was their form teacher that was how in unison he was
addressed.

ALL NAMES AND ADDRESSES USED ON THE SITE HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INDIVIDUALS AND NO RESPONSIBILITY IS TAKEN FOR ANY COINCIDENTAL SIMILARITIES WHICH MAY OCCUR.




Categories

 Central/Fife***
 Glasgow/West***
 HMIE*
 NE Scotland**
 Southern Scotland*
 Edinburgh*
 Media coverage*
 Rest of the World*
 School Books**
 Wales
 Christmas Stories**
 England
 Ireland
 Unis/colleges
 France
 Publishing



Homepage Submit a story Spread the word Contact us links